..so it's a journey...with "friends only" welcome to most of it

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on occasion...

..paranoia rears it's hideous head, like a sewer rat out of a toilet bowl; it looks around with it's beady little eyes and twitching nose tasting the air, scanning about for opportunity to spread it's filth and damnation; at times, seeing no target at hand it chitters annoyingly to itself continuing to grow as it feeds on it's own festering bile, and it waits....waits, knowing full well that time is on it's side--in today's world, time is increasingly on the side of the rat -- it nips tentatively, with sharp pointy teeth, at the edges of the fabric of our lives; these easily overlooked warning bytes embolden the rat and it continues to grow until one day it springs from it's putrid perch and deals a disarming blow to the innocent victim...

well...shit...i sure don't want to be victim to the rat, but i do get a bit suspicious at times; something happens that makes me say to myself, "wtf's goin' on here?" -- not that i'm excessively or irrationaly suspicious or distrustful of things i don't quite understand, but sometimes...well... i just wonder

i'm pretty well hooked into the web now, the 'puter's rarely off line; i do my share of downloading; i visit lots of sites, many of which i've been pointed to by info on other sites when i'm following an idea; i frequently empty the cookie jar into the compost; but i start to worry at times when i've been chasing vapor trails across the vastness of cyberspace and then i'm back to playing in my own backyard, but my two-tone gray dell is still chittering away, what's it doing and why? and if that weren't enough to make me rat conscious, i'm running windows!

windows, needless to say, is a quantum leap from my programs in basic on a ti99a; but life in general was a bit more understandable then, my car didn't have a brain of it's own, and i could change not only the oil, but a fuel pump, or starter motor or tune it up; it was mechanical, intuitively so, it never had a nervous breakdown from a blown chip, chips were something one found around the wood pile -- windows does things alllll by itself, it's complex, and i don't know what it's up to sometimes (if ever)

i sat down here this morning intending to catch up on e-mail but got drawn (as usual) to see what the folks on lj had been up to since last night -- that was when i noticed my bookmarks had been messed with -- groupings (former groupings) had been dumped out of their folders; it's one big disorganized pile! wtf? was indeed my first response, then i reformulated that into more meaningful english: where are my folders, and how did they disappear, and could folders vanish but their contents remain behind (seemingly so!)

i think the rat got a bit bigger byte out of me today...


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