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..so it's a journey...with "friends only" welcome to most of it

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schedule, what schedule

..i was up and showered by 5:30 this morning 'cause mary had to go in and finish cleaning her classroom, paperwork, put shit away...etc. -- it's now almost 9 i fiddled around with a wood carving all the time thinking, any minute now -- but she's still going thru papers, kid papers, and yesterday was the kid's last day--wtf?--and she has a dentist appt at 11 -- school's a half hour ride each way -- eh, shit that's all, i'm not going to go on with more -- she just can't tell time and i feel like i've pissed away 3 hours waiting, i hate to wait -- i know i know i've had a choice of how to spend my time but don't want to get involved in something then have to drop it cause it's time for the bus to leave -- so i see the whole fuckin day slipping away, cause sure as shit we'll have to go to the damn school this afternoon and 'this'll only take a couple of mins' so i hang around lifting and toting and waiting while she 'organizes' (what a joke) stuff -- shit, it's just a projection...may never come to pass--but i am experienced in these happenings

its raining again -- the anger level is building...deep breath...

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*strokes her fingers through your hair*

I'm sorry you are stressing today =( I hate to say this about anyone that I don't know, but it really does sound like she's taking advantage of you, and I'm sorry that is happening :( Is there anything I can do to try and help your stress and anger?

Re: *strokes her fingers through your hair*

oooo that does feel relaxing :)

i feel calmer already -- thanks so much, mel

i'm just going about my day and trying not to let it get to me anymore -- seems like i do that a lot

thanks for being there ;-)

Re: *strokes her fingers through your hair*

Patience is a virtue.....that I don't have! I am terrible that way. I absolutely hate waiting on someome else. I wish I had more patience. Between that and my quick tongue.....I get myself in trouble sometimes!

Have a good day Ed. Try to in spite of the rain.

Can I ask.....who is Mary?

Re: *strokes her fingers through your hair*

thanks for the good wish, vickie -- yeah, patience is not one of my strong points when it comes to waiting for someone else either :) -- but you may have guessed that

mary is my wife with the broken ankles (6 weeks now +or-) who is trying my nonexistant patience at this point -- i do not want to be a health care aide when i grow up :-)

hope you're having a good day -- catch ya later

Re: *strokes her fingers through your hair*

Does Mary read your journal?

I am having a good day so far.

God, I LOVE Xanax!

Re: *strokes her fingers through your hair*

no she doesn't read it -- doesn't even have a clue of it's existence -- she's not real digitally inclined :)

Re: *strokes her fingers through your hair*

Is that good, bad or doesn't matter?

Re: *strokes her fingers through your hair*

we don't seem to have many common interests any more, she just about refuses to view any movie with an r rating, refuses to eat any meat or food where there might be a wee bit too much fat, hardly ever does any work in the yard, doesn't like camping, hates the car windows open, the list could go on....so if she were interested in 'puters and the web, at least it would be something, ya know what i mean? she's involved in church things, i don't like the basic premise, she likes big cars (tanks) i prefer small cars, i like to bike, she seldom goes for even a short ride and then it's painfully tedious for me........whoa, i can't seem to stop :-) -- thing is there was a time when she was just the opposite but she went ahead and grew up and now we're like strangers in so many things -- not to say that she isn't a good hearted person in many areas but we see things so differently now

Re: *strokes her fingers through your hair*

Thanks Ed for sharing that with me. It's very personal and you didn't have to. But, Thank You for doing so. We all share so much of ourselves here. I feel so free to say whatever I want/need to without holding back. It is so liberating. And, yes, I do know what you mean. Thank You. I wonder how many times I will say that to you in the future? You and Gina.....I am just so humbled by the way that the two of you have taken me in and shared so much of your lives with me and allowed me to share mine with you. I am grateful.

thanks to you too, vicki -- sharing personal things is the way we get to know each other -- i'm very glad that you're allowing me into your life as well -- you're a beautiful person that i'm getting to know as a new friend -- *hugs*

Sorry you've had a stressful and miserable morning :-/ Mornings should be such a pleasurable experience as, in my opinion, it's the best time of the day. Hope something nice happens later to make up for it.

you're so right -- morning is the best time of the day!

I feel for you. I just don't think they realize that they put us on hold... (or do we do it to ourselves?). My hubby is the same way, and it just grinds me to no end. He will say he is going to his mom's and will be back in a few hours... I will say, like around what time... so I know what to do about dinner, etc. He will say - ohhhhh it's 10 now, so no later than 3 or 4 at the latest. Now... I say - fine, see ya then. Stop and think that a few means 3 but now has said actually 5 or 6 hours. I do not point that out to him. Not at all. But when 3 or 4 comes, and I hear nothing... I am beginning to fume at 5 or 6. Why? Because I am hungry - waiting for him so I can make dinner... or not eating a dinner I already cooked (but am trying to keep it warm). Grrrr. When he comes home finally at 7 (from his moms) I say - Couldn't you have called???? I have been sitting here waiting! Then he is upset I was waiting! WTF - if I didn't wait... he would be there wondering where dinner was! OHHHHHHHHH I don't know who's fault it is... LOL his for being so vague - or me for not just going on with my life... hehe

yeah, that dinner thing is pretty widespread i think -- when she's at work and i dont have to pick her up, i just guess a reasonable time and fix dinner to be ready then; if she's not there within 15 or 20 mins, i just go ahead and eat -- why should we both have 'old' food :)

there are a lot more issues about time and my cooling my heals just waiting but i'll save them for another time ;-)

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